10 Things Founders Say and What VCs Think (according to Ai)

Founder: “We’re leveraging disruptive technologies to create a paradigm shift in the market.”
VC: “Ah, so you’re banking on a buzzword bingo strategy, hoping no one notices the lack of substance?”

Founder: “Our platform employs cutting-edge AI algorithms to optimize user engagement.”
VC: “Translation: we’re using fancy tech to keep people hooked and glued to their screens.”

Founder: “We’re targeting a multi-billion-dollar market with a scalable, asset-light business model.”
VC: “In other words, you’re chasing rainbows, hoping to make it big without actually owning anything tangible.”

Founder: “Our vision is to revolutionize the way people live and work, disrupting traditional industries.”
VC: “So you want to turn the world upside down and leave a trail of bewildered traditionalists in your wake? Ambitious!”

Founder: “We’re building a disruptive ecosystem that will unlock unprecedented synergies among diverse stakeholders.”
VC: “Ah, the classic ‘synergy’ card. You mean you’re throwing a bunch of random stuff together and hoping for magic to happen?”

Founder: “We’ve assembled an all-star team of industry experts with deep domain knowledge.”
VC: “Ah, the old ‘team of superheroes’ approach. Just one question: Can they actually deliver?”

Founder: “Our traction metrics show exponential growth, indicating strong product-market fit.”
VC: “Okay, but are those metrics more than just fancy charts and graphs? Can they translate into real profits?”

Founder: “We’re confident that our disruptive solution will be a game-changer in the industry.”
VC: “So you’re placing all your bets on being the next big thing, while everyone else remains mere players in the game?”

Founder: “Our go-to-market strategy involves strategic partnerships and aggressive customer acquisition.”
VC: “Translation: you’re desperately relying on others to do the heavy lifting and bring in the customers for you?”

Founder: “We’re passionate about making a positive impact on society while driving exponential growth.”
VC: “I see, so you’re trying to be both Mother Teresa and Jeff Bezos in one fell swoop? Quite the balancing act!”



Trace Cohen Angel Investor / Family Office/ VC

Angel in 60+ pre-seed/seed startups via New York Venture Partners (NYVP.com). Comms/PR/Strategy